Category: Uncategorized
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The Trump Administration Accidentally Texted Me Its Plans to Trade Ocracoke for Greenland
U.S. national-security leaders included me in a group chat about upcoming plans to annex Greenland. I didn’t think it could be real. Then they mentioned Ocracoke. The Ocracoke Current editorial staff had applied for press credentials at the White House, but we hadn’t heard anything from the Trump administration until this surprise late-night group chat. …
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Trump Signs Executive Order to Reclaim all British Territory within U.S. Border
Effective immediately, the former “Ocracoke British Cemetery” is officially called “Ocracoke American Cemetery.” The annual British Cemetery ceremony, slated for May 9, 2025, will be reconfigured to celebrate the name change. “This is America, and we only celebrate Americans,” said Trump during the signing in the Oval Office on March 31, 2025, an event witnessed…
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Banksy mural on lighthouse a critique of “Republican Deluge”
World-renowned street artist and pseudonymous political activist Banksy made their Ocracoke debut Monday evening, flaunting a characteristically gutsy mural on the white walls of what connoisseurs call the most “Banksy” of locations yet: Ocracoke’s beloved, two-hundred-year-old lighthouse. By Mariah Temple The piece, sparking large controversy within the community, is said by critics to be a…
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Luigi Mangione to give first virtual “Book Talk” at Ocracoke Library event
Suspect’s lawyer calls island “potential socialist paradise.” By Mariah Temple Following his late February court appearance and its warranted influx of lipstick-signed letters (Nintendo was right—green is Luigi’s color!), suspect in the United Healthcare CEO murder Luigi Mangione reportedly asked his legal team for the opportunity to speak virtually about his “Manifesto” —preferably to a…
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